Welcome nsrn
Don't feel bad about 'dissenting' maybe time might change you. I was always scared that they might take your organs before you're actually dead (because you're kept on life support until 'harvesting'). I understand things a bit better now!
My sister is a nurse who has been involved in all sides like yourself, which is why as I mentioned above, I've respected her request not to donate my eyes - she found that particularly distressing.
In the UK they have specially trained transplant co-ordinators to support and advise donor's families. Do you have something similar in the US?